Lifeboats
A book by Chris O'Connor

Lifeboats

Smooth Sailing for Every Part of Your Life

How's your life going?

Did you stall before you answered?

Maybe you said "fine". Or "busy".

That's because "life" is too big a question.

Ask about your work, your love life, your friends, your body…

and suddenly you can answer.

You're not one boat.

If you feel like you're sinking, this book is for you.

Coming soon: paperback & Kindle Read the idea
Cover of Lifeboats by Chris O'Connor: nine labelled boats sailing together. If you feel like you're sinking, this book is for you.
The idea

Same boat? Same storm? Not quite.

  1. 1

    "We're all in the same boat."

    The old saying. Meant kindly: we're in this together.

  2. 2

    "Same storm, different boats."

    The pandemic-years correction. Everyone faced the same weather, but in very different vessels.

  3. 3

    "I'm not one boat at all. I've got a whole fleet. And they're not all in the same storm."

    Your work, your love life, your friends, your body: each is its own boat, in its own weather, at the same time. And different seasons put a different boat out in front.

You decide.

Lifeboats aren't the rescue kind, hanging off the side of a ship.

They're the boats of your life: the ones you sail in every day, in every kind of weather.

You decide which boats are in your fleet, and which one needs you this week.

You're the only crew.

Your fleet

Nine lifeboats to start with

Every reader's fleet is a little different. Keep the boats that fit, rename the ones that don't. Most people land on six to ten, and a smaller fleet is fine.

Two simple practices

Look inside. Then choose one boat.

The boat scan

One to ten minutes, eyes closed

  1. Arrive at the harbour: three slow breaths.
  2. Read the weather inside you.
  3. Walk the dock. Give each boat a mark: sailing, low in the water, or taking on water. For any boat that's struggling, notice a feeling word and where you feel it.
  4. Notice who's leading.
  5. Let one boat come forward: "This week, I'll give my attention to…"
  6. Leave the harbour. Write it down.

The harbour check

Ten minutes, once a week. Sunday evening works well.

  1. Read the weather.
  2. Who's leading? Did you choose it, or did life?
  3. Do your boat scan: a mark for every boat.
  4. Pick one boat, usually the leakiest, not the leader.
  5. Set an intention and one small action.
  6. Name the boats you're letting idle on purpose.
  7. Look for other fleets: who to thank, who to ask, who to visit.

Look inside. Think with intention. Act small.

Try it

What's your weather?

Every season of life brings its own weather.

A new baby is rough seas. A loss is a storm. A long, stuck stretch is the doldrums.

Each kind of weather asks something different of each boat. Pick the one you're sailing through right now.

1Tap the weather you're in
2What each boat needs in this weather

What it asks of you

    What the labels mean

    All hands on deckNeeds you now
    Skeleton crewJust stay afloat
    SteadyKeep it ticking over
    InvestA good time to build
    Idle on purposeLet it rest, by choice
    3Take action: one boat, one small step

    Tap the boat that needs you most this week. It's usually one marked All hands on deck.

    Then choose one action small enough to do on your worst day, and put it in your calendar.

    From the book

    Inside Lifeboats

    25 short chapters in five parts, each with a few check-in questions, a one-minute "Look inside", a small exercise with a five-minute version, and an illustration. Plus a two-page "How this book works", a primer on looking inside, and a toolkit of printable worksheets.

    Infographic: Not one boat, a whole fleet. Nine labelled boats sailing together.
    Your fleet of lifeboats
    Infographic: one boat takes on water and falls behind while the rest of the fleet waits.
    When one boat takes on water
    Infographic: four kinds of weather, each with a different boat leading.
    Reading the weather
    Infographic: the Partner boat goes down, a Co-parenting boat launches and Kids leads.
    When a boat goes down
    Diagram: a calendar strip with a storm due in spring and boats battened down ahead of it.
    Storm on the forecast
    Diagram: rest, movement and food gauges feeding your crew.
    Fuel your boats
    Diagram: a boat that keeps dragging: fix it, shrink it, or cut it loose.
    Cutting a boat loose
    Diagram: a friend's boat towing yours, labelled a specific ask.
    Asking for a tow
    Diagram: one boat drops back while another steps forward.
    Handing back the helm
    Diagram: the same boat before and after a fresh coat of paint.
    Paint your boats
    1 · Meet your fleetYour boats, their names, the one crew, and the fuel it runs on.
    2 · How the fleet movesTaking on water, all hands on deck, losing a boat, and letting one go.
    3 · Weather and seasonsReading the weather, storms you can see coming, and who's leading.
    4 · Other fleetsAsking for a tow, and being the friend who sails over.
    5 · Charting your courseThe boat scan, the harbour check, the logbook, joy and calm water.
    Free download

    The Lifeboats toolkit

    The printable pages from the back of the book: the full boat scan script, the weekly harbour check worksheet, a logbook to fill in, words for how you feel, and the boats × weather table.

    Download the toolkit (PDF)
    The emotion scan worksheet: one feeling word for each of nine boats
    "Grief, cancer and burnout hit different boats at different times. I couldn't fix my whole life, but I could look after one boat at a time."
    About the author

    Chris O'Connor is a self-employed technology consultant. He's a husband, and a dad to three sons. The family has two dogs, and his advice to almost anyone is: get a dog.

    Lifeboats came out of some hard seasons. First, he lost his sister to cancer when she was 45. Then he went through prostate cancer and its treatment himself. Then came burnout, and one morning he found himself in tears at the breakfast table. And then his mum, who had been living with dementia, passed away.

    Through it all, Work stayed out in front, until his Health boat nearly sank. He found that the only way to steer a whole life was one boat at a time.

    Lifeboats is the book he wishes he'd had in those seasons.

    Get in touch: info@lifeboatsbook.com

    Coming soon

    Lifeboats is on its way

    Publishing soon on Amazon. Links will appear here on launch day.

    PaperbackKindle eBook